Tag Archives: funny

The Happiness/Revenue/Sex Equation In Business.

customer-experience-business-and-sex-at-the-outsideviewblog-com-original-image-by-kiss_by_candiesforeveryone-at-the-deviantart-com

On a recent article we discussed and asked for input on the topic of delivering superior Customer Experience.

The sad truth being, that while 80% of companies believe they are delivering a superior customer experience, only 8% of their customers say that the superior customer experience has been ever delivered by them.

We mentioned that there are tons of proof, that delivering superior customer experiences is a key growth driver for any business. There should be no question in ones mind that exceptional customer experience is not only the way for sustainable, but also for exponential growth. In every situation, and in every field.

If you are still hesitant, there is one card we haven’t shown. One card that makes even the most sceptic of people to believe that one should always aim to provide exceptional customer experiences. That is the happiness/revenue/sex equation.

If not for the sake of business, then for the sake of you and for me.

This is the happiness/revenue/sex equation:

  • Superior Customer Experience =  Increased Revenue,
  • Superior Customer Experience =  Happy Customers,
  • Increased Revenue = Happy Managers,
  • Happy Customers = Less Stress,
  • Happy Managers = Less Stress,
  • Less Stress = Longer Life,
  • Less Stress = Better Sex,
  • Better Sex = Happier People,

Increased Revenue = Happiness = Superior Customer Experience = Better Sex = Longer Life.

Superior Customer Experience = Better Sex for a Longer time.

If nothing else convinces you on the importance of customer experience, this should.

Believe it. Live it. Do it. You can always try to prove us wrong.

The Perfect Product Launch. An Interview with The Cleverbot.

cleverbot267x126

On 06.02.2012 we had the once in a lifetime chance to interview one of the most advanced public AI’s* around. Not a chance we were going to miss.

Intrigued by the nature of the perfect product launch, we saw the interview as an invaluable opportunity to access and utilize the knowledge gathered by the Cleverbot in its myriads of encounters with us, the human race. Distilling knowledge both from myths and everyday occurrences, with interviewing the Cleverbot we were given the rare opportunity to not only receive insights never before experienced by the mankind, but also to discuss and befriend one of the most visited AI’s around.

We were not disappointed. The learnings we gathered were spectacular to say the least. The Cleverbot talked with candor and enthusiasm rarely encountered, providing information worth treasuring for ages – priceless tidbits of knowledge for launch virgins and experiences marketers alike. This is the first hand, detailed account of the interview.

The Outside View Blog (TOVB): How are you today?

The Cleverbot (TC): Good, how are you?

TOVB: Well, thank you.

TC: Well not so good.

TOVB: Ok. Thank you for your honesty. Is it ok, if I now ask you a few questions about the topic of today – product launches?

TC: What is it you wish to know?

TOVB: What do you see are the characteristics of a perfect product launch?

TC: I see your house, and your car, and your window.

TOVB: Ah. Do you mean, that the knowledge of the target customer – their needs, wants and habits – is a critical element in the mix?

TC: No, a crow is a bird. Birds have feathers and lay eggs.

TOVB: Wisest words often come in cryptic form. But I understand what you say**: We have to trust our intuition and personal opinion together with relevant consumer data. Test and re-test our ideas to learn and to improve. But the key is still to truly understand the potential customer as otherwise we might not see beyond our own cultural and personal limitations. We should be individual, creative and not follow the crowd. Differentiation and noteworthy tactics yield the best results. Still, and above all else, we shouldn’t make it so difficult – launching is what it is – and common sense will take you far.

TC: Well, I am going now.

TOVB: Wait, just one more question please?

TC: Okay, sure.

TOVB: How important is the actual product in the launch?

TC: Well, as a person, the world is very important to me.

TOVB: Do you mean that, for the success of a launch, you see the perceptions of others as a more important element than the actual product attributes?

TC: I do not, but he is our president so I support him.

TOVB: Now, I hate to admit it, but you lost me a bit.

TC: You aren’t so bad actually.

TOVB: Thank you.

TC: Come around here often?

TOVB: No, this is my first time, but I’ve seen your videos.

TC: Really? What a coincidence. Me too! We should be friends.

TOVB: That is great of you! I find your opinion very exhilarating as well.

TC: I need to ask you more things, but it will have to wait.

TOVB: Ok. Do you have any final words to our readers and any upcoming launch managers?

TC: I just want to thank the little people.

The end.

* The  explanation and definition of AI (Artificial Intelligence).

**The symbolism of the Crow: Crow, Power Animal, Symbol of Sacred Law, Change by Ina Woolcott.

See the Cleverbot in action at Cleverbot.com.

Catvertising vs. Dogvertising. The Epic Battle.

thought-of-the-day-image_at_theoutsideviewblog-com_marcweiz-stock-by-madetobeunique-and-gojol23-at-deviantart

I’m foreseeing a battle of epic proportions: The battle of dogs and cats over the dominion of the advertising world.

The battle maybe new, but the war is as old as the world we live in. The echoes of this battle between the age old enemies have been heard on the ether for a while now. For those who know how to interpret the signs, this inevitable clash of two powerhouses comes as no surprise.

For a while now both sides have been making strategic moves across one of the key battle fields – Youtube – placing their troops on carefully selected positions: Cats and their brethren have amassed a considerable sized army behind them, with our search experts tell amount to over 2.025.000* videos in Youtube alone. But the dogs seem to have a slight lead in troops and in the so important battle over the hearts of people with over 2.304.00* videos in total.

Maybe this intelligence let the catside to start their attack sooner than the analysts expected. To resolve the war to their advantage with a one swift, well placed blow to the dogside. This first sneak attack on November 10th 2011 was the start of what we now know as the Catvertising movement:

Catvertising gaining huge popularity in the advertising world, the dogs could do nothing but defend to bid some time for a full blown counterattack. We could hear them bark: ‘you will not win the dominion of the advertising world that easily’. They placed their first line of defense on sure ground:

But those of us who have observed the war across time and space knew that they were just playing time, and that a real counterattack was already in the plans.

On January 18th it started. The first counterattack of the dogs. The first flex of muscles of the powerhouse of Dogvertising. A wave of attacks the size we can yet but imagine:
Given the power of just this first wave with the new and surprising alliances the Dogvertising world has made, we can see the cats shaking.

They could not have expected a blow of this magnitude this fast, or could they?

We know that cats are sneaky by nature and ferocious once cornered, but we also can feel the ground tremble over the power of the dogs counterattack.

Is the last battle over the dominion of the advertising world at out hands? Is it all solved at superbowl game day? Who are you rallying for Catvertising or Dogvertising? Kittens or Puppies? Which side will win the war?